That said, I’d like to share a little (ok a lot) of what happened leading up to the wedding as well as the events of the day. I know every wedding is stressful and things not going as planned are about all you can plan for. But her wedding was even more eventful than most. So here’s the story:
I flew down to S. Cal to be with Becca on the Wednesday evening before the wedding. I went down knowing that I was going to be entering the peak stress of the planning and despite still being tired from the Drosophila conference, thought I was prepared for the wedding. Was I ever wrong.
I think our first mistake was staying at Gabe’s house. He owns a large house with four bedrooms set up with beds and has three bathrooms. The plan was that Becca would take the master bedroom, Valerie and Duane would take the upstairs guest bedroom and Chris and I would take the downstairs room. Gabe, would stay either with his groomsmen or his parents, who not so conveniently live next door to Gabe. What I didn’t realize was the Gabe’s parents were tiling, painting and cleaning Gabe’s house extensively the week before the wedding. So they were CONSTANTLY at the house, starting at 7am, making a huge racket. This created an atmosphere of tension, as neither Gabe nor Becca wanted his family over at the house the days leading up to the wedding. With being up late every night, and stores not opening until 10am anyway, we had all planned on sleeping in. Not to mention that Becca found their unannounced presence very intrusive and their manner pushy. But we dealt with it, at least at first.
Thursday morning Becca and I set out to do some last minute shopping for a dress for leaving the reception as well as a couple of nice outfits for the honeymoon. This turned into quite the ordeal, as Becca had her heart set on a summery white dress that flared at the hips and that wasn’t too revealing, as Gabe’s parents are easily offended by such things. (Example: Becca had to add 1 inch straps to the strapless bridesmaid dresses because Gabe’s mom thought they were inappropriate). After 4 hours of shopping, we finally found what she was looking for, as well a sexy dress that really shows off Becca’s curves and cleavage for her honeymoon. Valerie came down Thursday, and joined us midway through the shopping expedition.
After shopping and picking up tuxes with the guys, we headed to the rehearsal. I couldn’t find my jacket, which I know I had taken to Gabe’s Wednesday night, and I had to borrow one of Becca’s (this will be important later). It went as most rehearsals do. It started late because there was miscommunication with several members of the wedding party as to what time it started. There were a lot of side conversations and things had to repeated 3-8 times before everyone finally heard whatever it was that needed to be said. The sound man didn’t show up, so we had to find a stand-in, my step sister’s boyfriend, to do the sound. This resulted in at least 2 additional run thrus of the ceremony because it took awhile for him to get the hang of the sound equipment. 2.5 hours later, Becca and my dad were happy with the set up and we left for dinner. We had dinner at a Mexican restaurant where my dad and Sharon eat frequently. The food is ok, but the margaritas are excellent. I had a margarita and just before we left, my dad bought me (and himself) a couple of shots of Padrone-a really good tequila. That with the jello shots that Becca and I had made earlier in the afternoon made the stresses of the day float away.
However, at 7 the next morning, Gabe’s mother and aunt started cleaning the cupboards in the kitchen. I awoke to the loud talking- in Romanian - and the banging of the kitchen cabinets as they polished them with oil. It is at the moment my head began to throb. Now who in their right mind is polishes their kitchen cabinets? Two days before a wedding? And not even your cabinets, but your sons? When there is a houseful of guests?? Apparently we don’t count as guests as she said she was doing it because family would be coming in that night and wanted to see Gabe’s house and she wanted it clean. When Gabe confronted her about it, she told him she was only doing it because Becca hadn’t. I don’t envy Becca and her life NEXT DOOR to her mother-in-law.
We spent Friday making ourselves beautiful. Becca had hair extensions put in for the wedding which took about 2 hours at the hair salon. Valerie and I both got our hair trimmed while we were waiting. After that we all got manicures and pedicures- even Gabe (at Becca’s request). Chris flew in that afternoon and after dinner at my dad’s we returned to Gabe’s house for what we hoped to be a quiet evening. Becca was planning a nice long bubble bath, all of us were planning on going to bed early. The wedding was to start at 10am on Saturday and the hair dressers and make up person were going to show up at 5:15am.
When we arrived at Gabe’s house around 9pm, his sisters and aunt (who does not speak English well) were decorating the house in crepe paper and wedding bells for the next day. I’m not sure why, but whatever. When I saw them there, I was glad, because I had been wanting to ask Lory, Gabe’s sister, if she or her mother had seen my jacket. I knew they had both been in and out of Gabe’s house since Wednesday cleaning and painting and just wanted to know if they had seen it or maybe moved it. She said she hadn’t seen it but would let me know if she did. Becca proceeded to go over the plans for the next morning with Tabitha (Gabe’s other sister) and his aunt just to make sure everything set. She needed all of the family and wedding party dressed and at the church by 8am so they could start pictures. Tabitha told Becca that their family had no intention of being there that early, as the limo was picking them up at their house at 9:30 the next morning. Becca went on to explain that the pictures were important and that if they didn’t leave until 9:30 they wouldn’t get to the church until 9:45am, and guests would already be seated, making it impossible for pictures to be taken. The conversation went on, with Gabe’s aunt chiming in that it was not possible for them to get their any earlier and that they only needed two or three pictures anyway and they could get those after the wedding. I could see the stress building in Becca’s face as she tried to negotiate in the increasingly tense conversation. Finally, I chimed in and emphasized that there were time constraints and that this scheduling had already been agreed on weeks ago and that it couldn’t be changed at the last minute. Tabitha, apparently agitated that I had interrupted, began to raise her voice and say things like she didn’t care what WE thought, this was Gabe’s wedding too and that she was tired of our family’s attitude when it came to making the wedding plans. Apparently, Becca and Tabitha had a history of disagreeing, and this wasn’t the first time Tabitha had caused a problem. At this point, Becca, Valerie and I went upstairs. We sent Gabe to talk to his, now yelling, sister and aunt. He didn’t make any progress and came upstairs, only to be followed by Tabitha who was now yelling quite loudly and kept saying how she didn’t care what we wanted and got right in Becca’s face as well as mine. Valerie slipped into her bedroom and called my dad, who said he was on his way. By this time, Tabitha and her aunt had stormed out in anger and went to her parents’ house next door. Gabe and I followed, as I wanted to talk to Gabe’s parents. Becca had started to cry by this point and I was steaming and couldn’t believe Tabitha could be so rude and insensitive. As it turns out Tabitha didn’t know anything. Gabe’s parents were planning on being at the church at 8am. The rest of the extended family would be coming in the limo at 9:30am. The whole fight had been over nothing. It didn’t end there however. Apparently, Gabe’s aunt (who does not understand English) got it in her head that I had accused Gabe’s mom of stealing my jacket and told Gabe’s parents this. Now this is the farthest thing from the truth, and I tried to explain to Gabe’s mom that this is not what I had said, but I had simply asked if anyone had SEEN my jacket as I couldn’t find it. I don’t know if she didn’t believe me or didn’t understand me, but she kept going on and on about how she had never “had any trouble” before tonight and that I could go and search her house if I wanted, again I said that I didn’t think she had taken my jacket and I thought I had lost it somewhere. At this point, Gabe’s aunt exclaims “SHE’S LIAR!! I heard her!! SHE LYING!!” I just stood there with my mouth open. Valerie cut in and tried to say that I didn’t say that and certainly didn’t mean for it to be perceived that way. It didn’t do any good. Thankfully my dad showed up about then. He took Gabe’s family, now back at Gabe’s house, outside and diffused the situation. An hour later everyone was at their respective houses, agreeing on, if nothing else, that tomorrow was Becca and Gabe’s day and this would not be mentioned again, everyone would be at the church at 8am, as agreed. Becca spent much of the night crying and it took Valerie and I quite awhile to get her calm enough to take a bath and go to bed. None of us got much sleep and I'm pretty sure Gabe's mom still thinks that I think she stole my jacket.
The doorbell rang at 5:15. Becca started getting her makeup on, Chris taking pictures to document the process, Valerie and I showered and did our makeup. Our hairstylists were supposed to be there at 6:00. They were 30 minutes late. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that we just had to be flexible. We would be ready, possibly a little late, but the photographer could start with the groom’s family. We did end up being late, and started getting calls from my dad about 7:30 asking where we were, as we were suppose to be at the church to get dressed by 7:15. I tried to keep my dad at bay, telling him to relax, we’d be there as soon as possible. We got there about 8:15. The flowers weren’t there however, and didn’t show up until 8:30, which delayed the pictures even further. Valerie’s dress had got some black grease-like substance smeared on it and we couldn’t remove it. She had to hold her flowers strategically over the marks, to keep them out of the pictures. My dress, still not altered correctly, was too tight across the chest (not usually my problem area) and took both Valerie and Becca to get it zipped up. Shortly there after the seam on the side started to give way and by the end of the day I had a 1 inch tear in the side. Thankfully we had shawls that covered it. Somehow we got everything done before the guests began arriving at 9:45.
The rest of the wedding went pretty smoothly. The ceremony went on without any major problems, we got all of the pictures taken, we all ignored Tabitha and nobody mentioned the previous night’s events. We made it to the reception on time for the 1:15pm lunch. The reception was basically lunch and cake with a little dancing thrown in. Becca wanted more dancing, but Gabe’s family didn’t want any dancing (it was offensive) and so they compromised on only having slow music. Whatever. Gabe and Becca left and headed for their hotel. The plan was for them to change while we loaded up the gifts and immediate family would meet back at Gabe’s house to watch them open their gifts and then they would leave for their honeymoon. So we loaded Erin and Bryant’s (my step sister and her husband) car with the gifts, they had a new roomy Range Rover, and all left to change and then meet back at Gabe’s house in an hour. When Becca and Gabe arrived, the rest of our family hadn’t arrived yet. Becca had started opening envelopes on the way over, and had received over $9000 in cash!! Romanian tradition is apparently to give newly married family money. I think it helps that Gabe and his dad have a tiling business and do a lot of free work for family, and they re-payed that debt by giving Becca and Gabe money at their wedding. But still. I think Chris and I got $500 total when we got married and we thought that was great!
While Becca was counting her money (with a huge smile on her face) we got a call from dad, Erin and Bryant had flipped their suv going around a curve when driving to Gabe’s house. The mood of the room changed instantly. Erin and Bryant had been following my dad, who saw them flip in his rear view mirror. Thankfully, they are okay. Erin lost control going around a corner, hit a curb and went head on into a tree and then flipped the vehicle. They are incredibly lucky to be alive. The air bags went off and they were wearing their seat belts. Both are bruised and incredibly shaken up, but otherwise alright. My dad couldn’t get the doors open and had to break the window to get Erin and Bryant out. Sharon took Erin and Bryant home, my dad brought the gifts to Gabe’s after the tow truck had arrived. Amazingly enough, almost all of the gifts made it. Only a small bathroom soap dispenser and the glass in a picture frame broke. Everything else was intact.
With all that had happened, we decided to stay at dad’s instead of staying at Gabe’s house again that night. It probably offended Gabe’s parents, but at this point I really don’t care. Gabe and Becca left are their honeymoon and arrived in Lake Tahoe this afternoon. Chris and I flew home this morning. I came home and took a 3 hour nap. If Chris hadn’t woke me, I probably would have slept straight on through the night.
Here are a couple of pics to remind you that the wedding was beautiful and that my little sister really is all grown up.
Gabe and Becca
Valerie, Becca and Me
Gabe and Becca
1 comment:
Why is MTV following celebrity couples around when real life is far more interesting? Becca looks beautiful, but I pray for her living arrangements.
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