I was surfing the internet today while my RNA probe was incubating in carbonate buffer and came across an article on slate about whether a man, a father-to-be that is, should be obligated to be in the delivery room during the birth of his child.
slate article
nytimes article
My automatic response to this was "hell yeah!" He had everything to do with getting his wife/significant other into this - he should be there to see it through! Besides, shouldn't a guy WANT to be there? I mean this is a life-changing event. It's hard for me to understand why a person wouldn't want to be present to see their child born. Now I can totally understand if a guy didn't want to see the whole show, and decided to stay near his wife's head, but to not want to be present at all? That is someone I would not like to be having children with personally.
I guess traditionally men haven't been present at the birth of their children and it is a recent development (1970s?) to have men be there to comfort and support their wife during the labor as well as witness the birth of their child. It just seems to me that this is how it should be. Having a child is not just a woman's "job." And besides, all the guy has to do is stand there and be supportive - the woman has to go through hard work and pain to bring their child into the world. Excuse me if I have very little sympathy for a guy not being able to take being in the delivery room.
Thoughts?
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3 comments:
yeah, I encountered the original article last week. A (pregnant) friend sent me a link to an online forum where they were "discussing" it. What shocked me about this "discussion" was that all the women called these squeamish men assholes! I hadn't read reactions of such a closed-minded group of people in a long time. I was really turned off and readjusted my opinion of the forum hosting it (indiemom's on indiebride's kvetch boards).
ANYWAY, my opinion is that that my husband should help me out as best he can in a way we both find beneficial. I'm sure he'll be there (up at the head or in the waiting room) when the time comes, but if he's not then I'm not going to get all bitchy about it. If I know myself, I'm going to need a high energy talker to talk to me throughout the experience - probably a mom who can reassure me between crushing contractions. I don't want to have to worry about my husband's feelings or trauma-level, he should work it out and do what's right for him. that's what being a full-fledged adult is all about, right?
I wouldn't go so far as to call them assholes. Maybe wimps, but not assholes. ;o)
Seriously though, I think a guy should be there for as much as possible. I guess my thing is that they should WANT to be there. Everyone is different and I get that, and if they really just can't handle it, maybe it is better if they just wait outside. But they should at least have a desire to be a part of the birth. And I think that that part should be them being their for their wife during hte labor. Whether she needs a hand to hold or someone to blame for the pain she's going through.
yeah, I'm with you on the idea that the partner should want to be there.
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